Words of Wisdom vs Mindfulness
How many times have we been so frustrated we could scream? We were told: “Take a deep breath,” or “Count to ten before you speak.” Or “Don’t cry over spilt milk,” “Look before you leap,” “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it,” or “Count your blessings.” These ‘Words of Wisdom’ can help us over life’s hurdles.; if we remember to apply the wisdom at THAT moment. However, I’m pretty sure no one ever walked around counting to ten all day, every day, just to be prepared. Yet, that is the goal of Being Mindful.
Too often we pride ourselves in being multi-taskers. We can carry on a phone conversation while shopping and eating all at the same time. Of course, we may need to ask: “what did you say?” more than a few times, we probably won’t enjoy whatever we’re eating, and we may have missed a sale and over paid at checkout. That is the opposite of Being Mindful.
Think about when we are cut-off in traffic. We were in a good mood until that moment, then everything changes. We get angry and maybe swear at the other driver. We stew about it the rest of the drive and when we get to our destination we bring that anxiety with us. That is the opposite of Being Mindful.
The history of mindfulness
The creator of the Mindfulness, Jon Kabat-Zinn. He is an MIT-educated scientist and a professor emeritus of medicine. He created the Stress Reduction Clinic and the Center for Mindfulness in Medicine, Health Care, and Society at the University of Massachusetts Medical School. According to Zinn, “Mindfulness is awareness that arises through paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, non-judgmentally”(1).
Mindfulness, as developed by Jon Kabat-Zinn, began as an alternative treatment to pain. In 1979, he created an eight-week stress-reduction program; which we now call Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR). He recruited chronically ill patients and had them participate in the MBSR program. Patients participating in MBSR saw a reduction in pain. The results demonstrated a correlation between stress and health.
Since 1979, a number of scientific studies have reproduced the results, strengthening the acceptance of a causal relationship between stress and health. MBSR has been shown to reduce medical and psychological symptoms by reducing stress. Symptoms including: chronic pain, Hot flashes, anxiety, psoriasis, and even the function of the immune system (2).
How to be Mindful
It would be great if we could all just say “pay attention” and have it work. But to be truly Mindful, we need to practice. Importantly, we need to give ourselves permission to focus on ourselves for a few minutes every day, to do nothing and just be.
Start by practicing at the same time, and in the same place, each day. Tell yourself to focus on the present moment. Give yourself a ‘Pass’ and don’t think about what you did yesterday, or what you need to get accomplished today. Yes, that is not easy. Thoughts may fill your head, just remember you have a “Pass” and don’t worry about what you are not doing, focus on the moment. Focus on your breathing, the way your skin feels, the sounds around you, the air, everything that is existing in that moment. As you become better at Being Mindful, you can practice it in other places and you can add positive affirmations. Try it for a few minutes before you walk into work, or in the middle of the day, or while sitting in the waiting room at the dentist.
When we give ourselves a “Pass” we can react to events in the moment without bringing in your anxiety over past or future events. We can focus on one task at a time. Hopefully, we can accomplish that task more effectively. Being Mindful applies whether the task is a project at work or playing with our child.
When we pay attention, are aware, and don’t criticize ourselves for our feelings, we can learn “to be less reactive so that we can make better choices each day” (3)
Is Mindfulness just grandma’s advice, wrapped in a ‘new-age’ package? Almost. There is a major difference that makes Mindfulness a Life-Skill and counting to ten is just good-sound advice. Mindfulness is the opposite of being reactionary. It is taking time to think and feel and accept what is happening, so that you control the moment and the moment does not control you or your actions.
Thanks for reading, and remember:
Take a deep breath, count to ten & count your blessings… all day every day!
-Thanks for reading, Kim M Ph.D.
References:
- Jon Kabat-Zinn “Defining Mindfulness” online at https://www.mindful.org/jon-kabat-zinn-defining-mindfulness/
- “History of MBSR” Center for Mindfulness in Medicine, Health Care and Society online https://www.umassmed.edu/cfm/mindfulness-based-programs/mbsr-courses/about-mbsr/history-of-mbsr/
- Amy Jen Su: “If Mindfulness Makes You Uncomfortable, it’s Working” in Harvard Business Review Dec. 29, 2015 https://hbr.org/2015/12/if-mindfulness-makes-you-uncomfortable-its-working
